[Random update paragraph] School is going great. I only have one week left of the semester, a few days of exams, and then I'm home for Christmas. It really is crazy how fast this year is flying by. I have tons of things to be doing this week, but that's ok. I was telling my roommate this afternoon that I'm a mid-semester stresser. I tend to get all freaked out about half way through the semester about all the things I have to do, but then after that minor break down, I'm good and get on with the rest of my work, much less stressed, but still getting everything done.
[So these are some thoughts that came out of a conversation I had last night with some friends]
1) I would not consider myself a people person. I'm too introverted and reserved, plus at times I feel like I dislike more people than I actually like. That said, I'm realizing that though the list of people I don't like is large, I do love my friends and family. I love them to the point that I will do anything for them. Maybe that's why I don't make friends very easily, because I don't take friendships lightly. Once I have decided to be friends with someone, in my mind, there is no turning back. Its like some reversed and warped imprinting (like baby birds do). If I imprint on someone they can't really get out of it, they are just stuck with me. In other words, if I call someone a friend I mean it, and they need to realize the extent of my commitment to that friendship.
2) Caring to much is a huge blessing, but its also incredibly painful. This partially comes back to how I view friendships, but I have a tendency to try and take the burdens of those I care about on myself. In many circumstances I don't care if I get hurt, but if someone wants to see me truly mad* try and pull something on one of my friends. I'm not sure if this is caring to much, but it is how God created me. Sure, I get myself into the middle of things a lot. I can't say 'no' when someone I care about asks me for help. And when one of my friends is hurting, regardless if I had anything to do with it, I feel like my heart has been ripped apart. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm learning how much of who I am is rapped into caring so deeply: my desire to go into medicine, my stubbornness, and my heart for mission work (I'm still figuring out where God will lead me on this front). As an interesting side note: apparently people like this tend to be friends with others that are similar.
Cheers!
Laura
*For some reason people at school joke around that they don't want to get me mad. I'm not sure how this started, but I think its funny because I don't really get mad, unless its about a friend/family member, and then you REALLY don't want to get me mad.
I’m Free!
13 years ago
1 comment:
I'm the same way as you with #1--I totally understand the imprinting thing because I also don't like that many people, but when I do, I put a ton of care and time into the friendship. It's really hard at Westmont sometimes, though, because so many people work the exact opposite: They like people in general, but don't seem to attach themselves to me in particular. It can be frustrating, but I'm learning how to take things less personally and not hold me friends too tightly.
Great post :-)
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