Sail ho!

Well, today I spent the day with friends having a party for one of my friends that is leaving for Virginia in less then a month. We got all dressed up and went and explored a Victorian house and a garden or two. But the two part is a secret. We were really only supposed to be in the one. Today was really fun, but I'm really going to miss Charlyn.

Right now I'm reading a book called "Two Years Before the Mast" written by Richard Henry Dana Jr (it's a true story). It is about a Harvard student that got the measles and had to take some time off from studying, so he decided to join a ship as a sailor for a two year trip around the horn and hide trading off of the California coast. (Did I mention the book was written and takes place in 1834). After his trip he came back and finished his law degree. He never wrote another book. It is very interesting and very detailed in the art of sailing. So if any of you are fond of sailing ships and all their gory details (and yes, I do mean gory, sailing was not an easy profession) this would be a wonderful book to read. And if you aren't fond of sailing ships there is still a reason for you to read this book. When Dana published his book it actually changed the way American sailors were treated on board ships. There had not been a true to life account of the conditions of sailors written before by someone from the upper/middle class. However, Dana was from a good family and had been very well educated so for the first time people took notice of the lowly sailor's plight and things started to change. There, now if you are a Horatio Hornblower fan or not, you have to read this book.


Cheers!

Your Literary Junkophile.

Amendment 1: I will let you know how the book ends. I haven't actually finished it yet.

Amendment 2: If anyone cares to know: The reason the Heisenberg jokes are funny is because he developed something called the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. It basically says that you can't know where something is and how fast it is going. You can know one or the other but not both. This of course only applies to atomic particles. Since I'm sure you and I are quite capable of knowing how fast we are going and where we are at the same time. Now you can laugh heartily with me when Heisenberg said "No, but I know where I am".

my favorite chemistry jokes

When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" the typical response is "C over lamda."

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalic acid.The pharmacist replies, "You mean aspirin?"The chemist answers, "That's it... I can never remember that word."

What's the most important lesson in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon.

How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he'll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration.

Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: mole, unionized. As he so eloquently put it, "If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking."

First Order Reaction, n. The reaction that occurs first, not always the one desired. For example, the formation of brown gunk in an organic prep.

Physical Chemistry, n. The pitiful attempt to apply y = mx + b to everything in the universe.

Rate Equations, verb phrase. To give a grade or a ranking to a formula based on its utility and applicability. Hy = Ey, for example, applies to everything everywhere, and therefore rates an A. pV = nRT, on the other hand, is good only for nonexistent gases and thus receives only a D+, but this grade can be changed to a B- if enough empirical virial coefficients are added.

Spectrophotometry, n. A long word used mainly to intimidate freshman nonmajors.

Cheers!

Your Literary Junkophile.

Amendment 1: I really miss my chemistry class.

Amendment 2: Sorry if you didn't get any of my jokes. I can explain them if you like.

my favorite physics jokes

There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, 'I've got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.'

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times.The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter.The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space.The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the thermos bottle."Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked."Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.""Yes -- so what?""Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That little bottle -- how does it know?"

Physics professor has been doing an experiment, and has worked out an emphirical equation that seems to explain his data. He asks the math professor to look at it.
A week later, the math professor says the equation is invalid. By then, the physics professor has used his equation to predict the results of further experiments, and he is getting excellent results, so he asks the math professor to look again.
Another week goes by, and they meet once more. The math professor tells the physics professor the equation does work, "But only in the trivial case where the numbers are real and positive."

The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason." A long logical explanation follows. In the middle of it, the experimentalist says "Wait a minute", studies the chart for a second, and says, "Oops, this is upside down." He fixes it. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...".

Heisenberg was driving down the Autobahn whereupon he was pulled over by a policeman. The policeman asked, "Do you know how fast you were going back there? Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."

How do you know that the driver driving toward you is a physicist?He has a red sticker on his bumper, saying: "If this sticker is blue, you are driving too fast."

Eight ways to use a barometer to find the height of a building:
Measure the height of the barometer. Scale the side of the building, measuring its height in barometer-units.
Drop the barometer from the top of the building. Measure the time until it hits the street. Correcting for the mass/surface ratio of the instrument, use basic acceleration equation to find the height.
Tie string to top of barometer. Lower from roof to almost ground. Swing. Period of pendulum can be used to find distance from barometer's Center of Gravity to top of building.
Tie a long cable to the barometer and lower it from the top of the building to the ground, and then measure the length of the cable.
Take the barometer outside on a sunny day, measure its shadow and the buildings shadow.
Drop the barometer from the top of the building. Measure how far was it shifted by Corriolis force. The rest is trivial.
Sell the barometer. Purchase a tape measure long enough to measure the height of the building.
Find someone who knows how tall the building is, and trade him the barometer for the information.

Physics Revisited
Gravity was discovered by Sir Isaac Newton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When planets do it, we say they are orbitting.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum.
The moon is more useful than the sun, because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the sun shines during the day when you don't need it.
To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.
Isn't it meaningless to speak of a 45 degrees angle unless you specify Fahrenheit or Celcius?
An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Doppler effect is the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.

Cheers!

To Take or Not to Take? that is the Question

Well, once again I really have nothing to report. (Which is the main reason I haven't blogged for over a week). Right now I'm really not doing that much. I have lots of books to read, a Bible study to plan, softball games on Sundays, details to work out for volunteering at a clinic, and a vacation to start planning for.

I'm leaving for school in about two months. I'm really excited and a little nervous. I'm still trying to figure out what to take and what to leave at home. I don't want to bring to much stuff, but it would be nice to have some sentimental stuff from home. I also have to remember that we are driving my stuff down so I really can't bring to much or my family will kill me (or worse, make me walk the whole way to school). I do have a list of things that I for sure know where they are going:

STAYING:

1. My Mickey Mouse clock. This is simply to precious to risk at school. (Yes, this is the same clock I have had since I was three, so if you have ever been in my room you have seen it).
2. My desk. (The reason should be obvious).
3. Most of my books. (this falls under the "I don't want to have to carry it up a flight to stairs" category).
4. My desk top computer. (I will be completely mobile at school)

GOING:

1. A few well chosen volumes. (also for obvious reasons)
2. Almost all of my pictures, in some for or another. (So I don't forget your wonderful faces).
3. My binoculars. (for spying, and whale watching)
4. My laptop computer. (who really wants to carry a desktop up stairs?)
5. Most of my family's girl shoes. (I share a number of pairs with my sister and mom and they are all going with me).
6. My summer weather wardrobe.

I'm sure as the time gets closer I will come up with even more things to take. And any suggestions are appreciated.

Cheers!

Your Literary Junkophile.

Amendment 1: No amendments today.

Amendment 2: Bother, you can't just have one. so here is the second. (annoying grammar rules).

Boring Blogging Day

Well, right now my life is very boring, unless you consider reading large portions of books, perfecting your pool game, long-winded windy walks, and Bible study preparation interesting.

I did however, have something of a revelation while washing my car on Monday. I was washing my car in rain (I know, it seems a little pointless), but I had decided on Sunday that I was going to wash my car the next day, without looking at the weather report. So there I was washing my car, wearing my grubby clothes, and wishing that God would turn off His garden hose. And then it hit me (no, not a rain drop). I was washing my car in front of my entire neighborhood. But my response to this thought was "Oh well". I'm not quite sure that I have figured out this living in town thing. (Or perhaps my bigger concern should be why I was washing my car in the rain).


Cheers!

Your Neighborhood Challenged Literary Junkophile.


Amendment 1: The Happening come out on Friday!

Amendment 2: I'm still waiting for some more book suggestions.

Amendment 3: I would write more, but like I alluded to earlier, boredom and interesting blog posts make poor bed fellows.

Dogs A Plenty

OK, I know I already posted today, but I have a funny and brief story.

I have slowly been cleaning my old room at the farm, and I just unpacked some stuff including some of my childhood toys. I put my favorite doll in my room, leaning on my bed frame. This morning when my mom was hanging something up in my room after I had left for church, Reggie (my dog) saw Molly (my doll) sitting there. He got really upset and started barking because he thought it was a person. My doll is only 18 inches tall and really doesn't act like a person, in fact she just sits there. I love Reggie he is just so silly and sweet. The perfect name sake for Reginald Barclay of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Well, now that I have started, why make this a short post. Reggie is one of those dogs that finds untold enjoyment in gutting toys. When ever we get him a new stuffed toy (which isn't very often the way he goes through them) he has it opened and de-stuffed in a matter of minutes. He then proceeds to "kill" and shred the remains of this poor stuffed toy.

Reggie is also a dog that needs something to do or he will start shredding household items. So my mom decided that it would probably be cheaper just to get him a couple of the expensive and supposedly indestructible toys. He now as three that he has yet to put of substantial dent in. The only problem with these toys is that they are very heavy. You can hear them being thrown down the stairs (one of Reggie's favorite past times) and pushed off the couch (also one of his favorites, especially when Co-co is the one that is playing with said toy).

Even with all these exciting toys, Reggie's favorite is still the LASER. My mom can barely go to the cupboard that she keeps it in with out the excited spinning of my dog and the squeaking of the other. In fact we can't even say the word "laser" without putting him into a state of excitement. One of good things about the nice weather is that Reggie can "laser" outside. We run it from one end of the yard to the other going up on the fence both ways. Reggie can hardly contain himself and there is much squealing and barreling head first into Co-co.


Cheers!

Your Literary Junkophile. (Reggie's mother)


Amendment 1: Now, I'm sure that you all know as much about my dog as you could ever hope for.

Amendment 2: Did I mention that Reggie is a miniature dachshund. He only weighs about 10 pounds, and is cute as a button.

English Ravings of a Witty Nature

Well, I believe I have had my weekly allotment of classical music. My sister had two concerts this weekend. I love listening to her play it is the other twenty kids that I wish I didn't have to hear. Not that they played poorly but it isn't nearly as enjoyable as listening to your own flesh and blood.

Caution: The rest of this post should be read with a British accent, a humor of dry wit, and a slightly pessimistic countenance.

As I'm sure you have taken note I have been perusing a great deal of English literature written about the time of Jane Austen. Namely the Bronte sisters' numerous works. The last book to be finished was Agnes Grey which much to my pleasure turned out all right in the end. At the half way mark I was sure that the youngest Bronte sister (Anne) must have been quite disillusioned with the world in general and the most pessimistic and dull of all three girls. However, upon finishing the book I was very pleased to discover that she was not as disenchanted with the world as I had previously thought.

Before reading Agnes Grey I once again had the pleasure of reading Wuthering Heights. I am not at all sure why I enjoy this work of fiction because I thoroughly disliked the majority of the characters. And no matter how many times I wished whole-heartily that Cathy would not make the same mistake of following Linton home that she had done on my previous perusal she still walked blindly through Heathcliff's door. What I wonderful adventure into the inner workings of the heart's desires is Wuthering Heights.

Even after reading those two wonderful works, my favorite remains Jane Eyre. Without a doubt Charlotte's romantic imagination is most closely aligned with mine in most manners. But the heroine alone makes this story compelling. Jane's steadfast morality, sensibility, dry witty intelligence are enough to make any person wish themselves her equal.

The odd effect that reading so much British literature has on my literary style has now become obvious. The rule is simple: what I read, I written. Not the the attributes of the story, but the stylings of the writer. I have always fancied myself to be astutely aware of the different literary styles, but this taking on of them has come to be ridiculous. I can only hope for your sakes that I never take a liking to literature written in a southern black dialect.


Cheer-e-o!

Your Slightly Bemusing Literary Junkophile.

Amendment 1: If anyone is wondering, my fanatical and very English ravings should be over for a time. I have now gone on to an Asimov book.

Amendment 2: Asimov writes science fiction for you non-science types.

Amendment 3: Now is you will excuse me, I must finish this blog post-haste.

A Cry for Literary Help

Well, I have no been bored for a whole week now. SCHOOL IS OUT! I know that I said I was looking forward to vacation, but right now I would give my left knee (my bad one) for a good chemistry lesson. The one and only good thing about vacations is that I get to do a lot of reading and that we get to go on vacation. (OK, so that is two things, but my brain is still a little fried from exams, so give me a break).

So far this vacation I have gotten through two books, been to my grandparents' house, made a five hour car drive starting at 11:00 pm, and decided that I am not a "vacation-y" type person.

In case anyone is interested here is my June reading list:

Andromeda Strain (finished)
Wuthering Heights (finished)
Jane Eyre (Nearly Finished)
Agnes Grey
Animal Farm
Foundation (and the other three books in the series)
Tale of Two Cities
Julius Caesar

Now this is just for the month of June I still have another month and a half that I haven't planned out yet. So tell me your favorite books so I can read them and then have a literary discussion with you. (and Yes, I will force you to talk about it with me, so if you don't want to be invited out to coffee for a joyful and very possibly animated discussion I suggest you pass along your literary recommendations anonymously).

I now I to get ready for dance class so I must go.

Cheers!

Your Literary Junkophile (who is hurting for more literary amusements).

Amendment 1: Seriously, I do need more book recommendations.

Amendment 2: Movie recommendations are accepted as well.