I found this on CNN this morning. I thought it was really funny and really good advice for anyone that has a job.
"If you've decided honesty is not the best policy for you (when you are late for work), don't try using any of the following excuses as the reason why you're late -- they've been heard before.
Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employees have heard for being late to work:
1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.
2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.
3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.
4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.
5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.
6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.
7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.
8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.
9. My father didn't wake me up.
10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.
11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.
12. I had to go to bingo."
Cheers!
Your Literary Junkophile.
Amendment 1: Don't be late (or if you are don't give one of those excuses)
Amendment 2: The Quotes from this article are the property of CNN.com
Amendment 3: Yesterday, in physics class my professor told us a really funny story. We have an observatory on campus. When my professor was setting up his office in the observatory he wanted to have a very accurate clock, (something about keeping track of astronomical phenomenon). So he bought an atomic clock. However, this does present a slight problem. In an observatory there is a large metal dome, that happens to be very good at blocking the radio signals the atomic clock is supposed to receive to keep it on time. The obvious answer to this problem: walking the clock. One of the duties of the students that work for the physics department is to take the clock for a walk around campus about once a week, to make sure it can get a good signal.