A life to travel

I don't know why I haven't felt like blogging in the past few months, well maybe I do, but its kind of a long story. I am back at school, back into the routine of life. Classes, homework, working out, friend time, sleep, rinse and repeat. Not to say that anything about that is bad.

This school year is turning into a very interesting one. My classes are fascinating; for the first time every single class I am in is something I enjoy. From History of World Christianity to Biochemistry to Lifeguard training. I have less free time than I had last year (if that is even possible) but I don't really care. I pride myself on finding that fine line between complete insanity and the appearance of insanity.

It is also strange to be back on campus without a few people of note. Having people gone means learning to trust and depend on different people, but it also means a chance to get to know other people at a deeper level.



Cheers!

Laura

Finals Loom

I'm half way through the last week of classes. Its hard to believe that this year is nearly gone. It seems like it was just yesterday I was moving in and saying goodbye to my family. And now, I'm going to be moving out of my dorm room in less than two weeks. Even though this year has flown by it seems like so much has happened. It is strange to think that some of my closest friends I didn't even know at the beginning of this year, and now I can't imagine my life without them. I am so thankful for the people that God has placed in my life, both at home in Oregon and here in California.

One of my favorite hymns is "How Firm a Foundation", and I especially like this verse:

Fear not, I am with thee; O be not dismayed!
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

At the moment I'm just so very tired and stressed with some much to get done in the next year weeks. But knowing that my foundation is not in this world, but instead in Christ means that I don't have to go through anything alone.

I'm not even done with this school year, but already I'm excited for next fall. It will be a very different semester. Two of my closest friends with be gone in England, and a handful of others will also be spread out across the globe. But my class schedule could be more fun. I found out two weeks ago, that I am on the SBIC core team for next year. This is the team that plans the trip to SF that I went on for spring break. I'm really excited to be in a new role for next year, and to have the chance to serve and lead in an organization and place that I have come to care for deeply. Isn't it funny how God's plans work out? I really only wanted to go to SF to see if I could handle being in an urban environment, not to fall in love with the people, and fall at His feet for their brokenness.


Cheers!

Laura

Amendment 1: I'm reading a book called Awakenings. Its about Parkinson disease. Its sort of like reading a textbook, but a really totally awesome text book. Next on my reading list: rereading "A brief History of Time" and "The Universe in a nutshell".

Amendment 2: Did I mention that I can't wait for medical school?

Amendment 3: Ok, I can wait, only because I love my life here at W_______, and will miss it when I've moved on.

April has Arrived

As always, life is moving at a break-neck pace. With only a little over a month left until the end of the semester, school is becoming more and more time consuming. Which translates to less and less sleep.

My classes are still mostly fun. Lit. is probably my least favorite class only because our class discussions leave much to be desired. Philosophy oscillates from being enthralling to being down right mind numbing. It doesn't seem like there is a middle ground for me in philosophy, either I really love it or can't stand the material. Analytical chemistry is at times interesting. I really prefer the theoretical parts of chemistry much more than the lab work, so it isn't all that exciting to me, but it is still chemistry so I am still enjoying the class. Genetics is by far my most interesting class. The labs are very exciting. We have made antibiotic resistant E.coli, tested a potential mutagen, and are now crossing fruit flies to find out what traits are on the same chromosomes.

After numerous false starts, research is finally going well. We have been plagued with technical difficulties all semester, but it seems that finally we are getting good data. Which is very good in my opinion because it means fewer things for me to sort out at the beginning of the summer when I'm doing research full time.

On top of school social stuff is also starting to take up more time recently. But in a very good way. I sometimes feel like when ever life starts to calm down and become routine something new happens that adds excitement. That has certainly happened in the last month.

This past weekend was Easter break. I spent most of the break on campus, doing homework, and relaxing with friends. On Easter Sunday I attended my normal church and then spent the rest of the day at a friend's house that lives locally. It was so nice to be in a home, even if I was only visiting. I had forgotten just how wonderful being in a house, with people of different ages can be. I believe I have hit the point in the semester that I am really starting to feel like wanting to go home. I haven't been at home since early January, four months now. I have another month and bit to go, then a wonderful busy week at home, before summer research.

Cheers!

Laura

Amusing things learned in the past few weeks:
1) Facebook privacy settings are funny things, especially for friends-of-friends.
2) "Uhmm... friend" is a term that is apparently acceptable to use in some circles.
3) Cracking confetti eggs over friends' heads is a very fun activity.
4) Styrofoam $.99 airplanes can be surprisingly entertaining.
5) Nerf gun wars in a three story dorm building are not only good exercise but also ridiculously fun. Just watch out for "civilians" (aka other students).

Spring Break in the City: San Francisco

For those of you that don’t know, I spent last week (spring break) in San Francisco on a mission trip. In short, the trip was amazing. I had a great time in the city, but I also learned so much about myself, urban ministry, and about my fellow team members. There are so many wonderful stories I could tell, and an equally number of heart breaking stories. I feel as if I left a little part of my heart in SF.

One of the main things I learned personally about myself was that I can do urban ministry. I grew up in a rural environment, always hating cities. Homeless people scared me, as did the loud, noisy smelly cities that I associated with them. But throughout the course of the week I came to realize that what people on the streets, or in horrible living conditions really want is just to be humanized, the same as everyone else. We spent lots of time passing out food to people that had literally next to nothing, but what they wanted and needed more than the food was the conversation and a smile. It makes so much sense and I can’t believe that I never thought about it that way before.

Being faced with so much poverty was at times overwhelming and very difficult. I knew that poverty existed in the US but I had never seen it so clearly. I realize now that while doing missions overseas, and in other countries is important, it is also important to do so in the United States. You don’t have to go to Africa to find people that are hurting, broken, and desperately in need of Christ’s love and compassion. (this is not to say that missions not in the USA are in any means bad, but just that we should also look to inside our own borders for places to minister). An entire family living in a 10x10 room, with no bathroom or kitchen should not be acceptable here. I have no idea what the answer is to some many of the problems, but things need to change. For the sake of the kids we worked with, things need to change.

Walking around and seeing places that were most certainly brothels or sweatshops was really hard. We went on a prayer walk our last day in the city and learned just how much pain and hurt was in the three blocks surrounding the church where we stayed. I’m not sure I can go back to normal life after being faced with trafficking victims and girls that have aged out of the foster care system being used as sex slaves. Walking around the neighborhood that we had been staying in and learning just so of the many problems that are faced by that community made me feel physically ill.

I am so thankful for the life I had growing up. I always had a roof over my head, food on the table, and parents that I knew loved me and wanted the best for me in everything. I never had to call home as a six year old to remind my parents to come and get me, and I never had to worry that my parents might not come home at night. We take so much for granted.

I was so encouraged on this trip to see a church that is really doing hard work. I have been feeling a little disenchanted with the Church recently, but to be able to experience a church that really was reaching out to the lost and the hopeless, and pulling people back from the precipice is something that I am so thankful for.

Christ came to serve, but I think sometimes the church brushes aside the people that are uncomfortable or difficult to serve. I realized walking around SF that our culture has made a new kind of lepers. In the Bible we read about the lepers, the outcasts of society, that people couldn’t touch; they wouldn’t even look them in the eye; they were completely ignored. How many of us do the same thing with people on the street? I know I am guilty of this. If we see a homeless person we just walk around them, not even giving them a smile. By doing this we have dehumanized them and deprived them of respect and dignity.

After this last week, I definitely want to go back to SF. I feel like there is so much more I can learn at the church we worked with. I went on this trip because I knew that where ever I end up for medical school it will mostly likely be in an urban environment. I wanted to learn something about the issues and problems that Christians face in that type of ministry. I came back with so much more. I feel encouraged that it is possible to find the balance between pure evangelism and just giving people a sandwich and a blanket on the road to Hell. I feel more confident that if I do end up working and ministering in an urban setting I can do so. I want to help the people that no one else is. The world is filled with broken people that desperately need Christ’s love and compassion. I want to find a small corner and stand between the gates of Hell and the hopelessness of the world.

~Laura

Church (big 'C')

Quote from Max Lucado:

"God has enlisted us in his navy and placed us on his ship. The boat has one purpose—to carry us
safely to the other shore.
This is no cruise ship; it’s a battleship. We aren’t called to a life of leisure; we are called to a life
of service. Each of us has a different task. Some, concerned with those who are drowning, are
snatching people from the water. Others are occupied with the enemy, so they man the cannons
of prayer and worship. Still others devote themselves to the crew, feeding and training the crew
members.
Though different, we are the same. Each can tell of a personal encounter with the captain, for each has received a personal call. He found us among the shanties of the seaport and invited us to
follow him. Our faith was born at the sight of his fondness, and so we went.
We each followed him across the gangplank of his grace onto the same boat. There is one captain
and one destination. Though the battle is fierce, the boat is safe, for our captain is God. The ship
will not sink. For that, there is no concern.
There is concern, however, regarding the disharmony of the crew. When we first boarded we
assumed the crew was made up of others like us. But as we’ve wandered these decks, we’ve
encountered curious converts with curious appearances. Some wear uniforms we’ve never seen,
sporting styles we’ve never witnessed. “Why do you look the way you do?” we ask them.
“Funny,” they reply. “We were about to ask the same of you.”
The variety of dress is not nearly as disturbing as the plethora of opinions. There is a group, for
example, who clusters every morning for serious study. They promote rigid discipline and somber
expressions. “Serving the captain is serious business,” they explain. It’s no coincidence that they
tend to congregate around the stern.
There is another regiment deeply devoted to prayer. Not only do they believe in prayer, they
believe in prayer by kneeling. For that reason you always know where to locate them; they are at
the bow of the ship.
And then there are a few who staunchly believe real wine should be used in the Lord’s Supper.
You’ll find them on the port side.
Still another group has positioned themselves near the engine. They spend hours examining the
nuts and bolts of the boat. They’ve been known to go below deck and not come up for days. They
are occasionally criticized by those who linger on the top deck, feeling the wind in their hair and
the sun on their face. “It’s not what you learn,” those topside argue. “It’s what you feel that
matters.”
And, oh, how we tend to cluster.
Some think once you’re on the boat, you can’t get off. Others say you’d be foolish to go
overboard, but the choice is yours.
Some believe you volunteer for service; others believe you were destined for the service before
the ship was even built.
Some predict a storm of great tribulation will strike before we dock; others say it won’t hit until
we are safely ashore.
There are those who speak to the captain in a personal language. There are those who think
such languages are extinct.
There are those who think the officers should wear robes, there are those who think there
should be no officers at all, and there are those who think we are all officers and should all wear
robes.
And, oh, how we tend to cluster.
And then there is the issue of the weekly meeting at which the captain is thanked and his words
are read. All agree on its importance, but few agree on its nature. Some want it loud, others quiet.
Some want ritual, others spontaneity. Some want to celebrate so they can meditate; others
meditate so they can celebrate. Some want a meeting for those who’ve gone overboard. Others
want to reach those overboard but without going overboard and neglecting those on board.
And, oh, how we tend to cluster.
The consequence is a rocky boat. There is trouble on deck. Fights have broken out. Sailors have
refused to speak to each other. There have even been times when one group refused to acknowledge the presence of others on the ship. Most tragically, some adrift at sea have chosen not to
board the boat because of the quarreling of the sailors."



My pastor read this in church on Sunday. The message was about the Church universal, and what our place should be in it. I liked this analogy, especially because it really hit on some very important but very sensitive topics about the conduct of people in the Church.

I’m not sure why I’ve suddenly been thinking so much about the Church (as opposed to the church, little ‘c’). But it does seem to keep coming up. Even in chapel today, the speaker was a women, a wife of a priest from the Church of Antioch. This is an Eastern Orthodox church tradition. I didn’t necessarily agree with everything she said. And I also felt that she made some rash generalizations about the Western church that made me rather less likely to give her the benefit of the doubt on the things that I didn’t agree with. But on the whole it was a fascinating message. I have little to no experience with the Eastern church. Learning about the importance of art (icons) was particularly interesting.

But the Church universal seems to be on my mind lately. Perhaps, because I've been thinking and praying a lot about my future. Not the medical school part. At the moment I truly feel that that is where God is leading me. But I am also realizing that being a doctor will give me a unique set of skills that I can use almost anywhere in the world, and in many different settings. This opens a lot of doors, and gives a chance to be involved in people's lives that would otherwise be unreachable.

At the moment the questions that are floating through my head are these:

How can I keep myself from being lumped in with the perceived members of the Church that do not do a good job of representing Christ?

Which of my beliefs are matters of doctrine which are matters of freedom?

Does patriotism get in the way of the work of the Church?

If we have the Answer then why is the Church so ineffective at so many things?

Shouldn’t all Christians feel broken-hearted when looking at the world, because I’m beginning to think God must?

Is it enough for the local church to be concerned with their congregation or do they need to be involved with the larger Church?

Can one person really make a difference in a world filled with so much pain and hurt, but more specifically, can I?

How can I share the Hope I understand through Christ and the natural world with others?

What did Christ mean when he told the the disciples to buy swords, and am I strong enough and brave enough to fight when I have to?

~Laura

Random Thoughts from Lit. Class

A quote by David James Duncan:
When I was thirteen and my brother was dying, a clergyman told me that if I prayed hard enough and with a pure enough heart, I could save my brother’s life. And then my brother died. This left me with serious questions about the pastor who told me those things, and about the purity of my own heart. So to the extent that I had bought the old time religion, I was guilt-ridden—I felt like I had been given an ideal that was impossible to live up to. But the older I grew, the more the ideal seemed like Swiss cheese religion—full of some serious holes. I couldn’t figure out, for instance, how to make God compassionate when all the people on the earth are only given one life and everyone is supposed to accept Jesus… It seemed to me that any God that I would believe in would have to be merciful. I felt that the God of my childhood was not merciful, and became an atheist, at least in terms of that God. I mean, I believe in God devoutly, but if Pat Robertson’s God is God, then I’m an atheist. I make a distinction between God and ‘God’.

David James Duncan wrote a book called the “River Why”. I had to read it for my English lit. class last week. The book takes place in Oregon and is basically about this young man’s spiritual journey as he finds God (or something like God). In general, I liked the book. It preached the normal Pacific Northwest Christianity, obsessed with nature and the natural world, focusing on a loving God without any judgment, a God that can basically become whatever anyone needs him/her to be. I didn’t agree with a lot of the spiritual aspects of the book. But that is really neither here nor there.

On Wednesday, when my professor brought in this interview with Duncan (quoted above) I started to think. In fact, I got so lost in thought that I didn’t bother paying attention for the rest of the class. The quote above made me, once again, wish that there was something else I could call myself besides a “Christian”. Because, very simply, I don’t want to be associated with the clergyman that told Duncan if he prayed hard enough his brother would live, or with Pat Robertson who proclaims that the earthquake in Haiti happened because the Haitian people had sold their souls to the devil.

How often does the Church drive people away by casting judgment, making snap decisions about people, or by petty arguing? And please don’t think that I am not guilty of this as well. I have messed up plenty in the Church, especially while in leadership positions. The thought that I might have driven someone from the Church is a constant in my life.

I have been a part of a church that went through a church-split. I know how devastating it can be. What would a visitor to the church have thought the Sunday when three pastors read resignation letters at my former church? I pray that they would have found somewhere else to worship, a church that was healthy. But what if they didn’t? What if that one event was enough to drive them to leave the Church for good?

Is the Body of Christ really a welcoming place? It should be. Everyone should be welcome regardless of race, political opinions, theology, past mistakes, or sexual orientation. Now, before anyone freaks out… There is a difference between welcoming someone into the Body of Christ as Jesus would, and being tolerant of blatantly unbiblical behavior.* Jesus came to sinners; there is no prerequisite for becoming a Christian. So why do we sometimes act as if people must first clean up their lives and THEN become Christians? We as a body of Christ certainly still have a lot of cleaning-up to do in our lives. Why should we expect others to uphold standards that we ourselves can’t maintain?

The 2nd greatest commandment is to “love your neighbor as yourself”. Is the Church really doing this? The way we treat each other matters to God. And it matters to people outside the Church. If people on the outside look into the Church and see only a squabbling, hypocritical, and judgmental group, then why would they want anything to do with our God?


~Laura

*I’m not in anyway saying that within the church we should accept certain behaviors. However, there is a difference between being judgmental and correcting in a loving manner. This is a difficult thing to do, and I personally think that if we aren’t completely sure (and by that I mean, you need to be able to point to a specific verse) then we have no right to tell someone their actions are wrong. God is the ONLY judge. And once again, I am not trying to say that I am above reproach on any of these matters. Just by writing this I am in some ways being hypocritical. I am a sinner, that is saved by undeserved Grace.

Week One

Week one: Check.

I’m back at school for my second semester of my junior year. Christmas break was really wonderful in so many ways. I got to spend time with family and friends in Oregon. I also had a lot of time to relax and read. I think I read something like eleven books. It was so nice to just to get my head out of school for a while. Fall semester, while extremely rewarding, exciting, and just plain fun, was very exhausting both physically and mentally. So it was nice to be home and have time to sleep. The many conversations I had with my family and friends meant so much to me, and I was able to spend some time with most of the people at home that I care the most about.

That said break was also hard and challenging in ways. I won’t go into everything, but just knowing that I wouldn’t be home until May and then only for a week made the ‘goodbyes’ that much harder. Suffice it to say that I came back to school with a lot to think and pray about.

Last week was difficult to get through. I was still mentally back in Oregon, with everyone there that I loved, and trying to focus on school was nearly impossible. But as of this weekend I am now back into the swing of things. It was/is so nice to be back and see friends again. I now have my family at home and my school family. (I’m still trying to decide which family is stranger).

My class load this semester is a little lighter than usual. Analytical Chemistry, Genetics, Studies in Lit. Philosophy, Fencing, and research. Even though my classes are less work, I am also studying to take the MCAT in May so I’m about at busy as I normally am.

As usual, I am involved with pre-health club, running ECD club, participating in Martial Arts club, and spending what other free time I have hanging out with friends. (And maybe trying to sleep a bit as well).


Cheers!

Laura


Amendment 1: Fencing is, so far, one of my favorite classes. We just started learning to use a foil, and will later learn some epee and saber.

Amendment 2: In genetics class we have already made antibiotic resistant E. coli. Very cool and very fun stuff.